I'm the Kitchen Nazi

So my wife is going to be a stay at home mom. Along with all of the crazy shit that she is going to have to put up with day to day I decided to concede some control in my kitchen. I do all of the cooking in the house. Its not that she can't cook but more along the line of it's what I enjoy doing. So I decided that Friday dinner is all hers from here on out. She can plan all week for it. She must be rusty since she and I have been living together (over 10 years) she has not really had to do much in the kitchen. So last night I tossed her the softball and asked her to hit it out of the park for me.

I looked up a recipe for a crock pot chicken dish and pulled all of the spices out of the cabinets, the measuring cups, the crock pot (my mistress-they had to meet sometime), vegetables and sent her an email detailing my explicit instructions on how to change the recipe a little. In case you are wondering- YES, I am totally having some loss of control issues. I checked in from the office a few times today and found out that she didn't start the crock pot until 3:30! Holy Shit! What have I done? She didn't get to the few other things that I asked her to do either! I broke out in hives and had to breathe into a paper bag. We are going to all starve and die!

I got home at the regular time. The house smelled great. ( OK- I admit I added a little curry powder to the crock pot when she wasn't looking) The kids were fed and happy. I took off my coat and tie and sat down with my family. As it turned out, dinner was great. Life is good. I need therapy for my control issues.

She even took pictures so I could post about it. Isn't that special?

Dear Panini Maker

Dear Panini Maker,

I know you heard me talking to the crock pot. Yes, I do love her. But its a different kind of love. There is enough room in my heart for the both of you. I swear, you are so much more sophisticated and shiny. Nobody can brown my sandwiches and make them taste better than you can.

My crockpots a hussy

Dear Crockpot,

My feelings for you have grown over the past few months.

I always told people that I would never touch you because you are so easy and it would make me feel dirty. Now, I need to see you every so often to give me my fix. All I need to do is turn you on and add some bullshit and you always satisfy me.

I'm sorry to say this...you are still a hussy but I love you and can't wait to be with you again.

Love,

Chris

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A little background... I met her last fall.

I entered the office chili cook off and the only rule was that you needed to use a crock pot. So I went to Target to buy one. I got the cheapest one since I was never going to use it again.

Turns out I was wrong... It just was too convenient, too easy. I immeditely fell in love.

Here is the first recipe aside from this chili I made and it was Fantastic. Try it!

Epilogue: I got second place in the contest-which PISSES ME OFF.